Older adults are affirming that sex remains central to their romantic lives. A University of New Hampshire study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that 97% of single people ages 60 to 83 consider sexual intimacy a vital part of a relationship. It also found that 72% would not pursue a partner if sex is not on the table, according to Neuroscience News.
The qualitative study interviewed 50 women and 50 men who use online dating platforms. Participants were eager for passion as well as companionship. Many were willing to adapt to physical changes to sustain intimacy. They reported using medical support, redefining sex, or adjusting expectations around frequency and intensity, according to Neuroscience News.
Is it just a friendship?
“Many participants expressed that a relationship without sex felt more like a friendship,” said Lauren Harris, an assistant professor of human development and family studies at the University of New Hampshire. She added that more people are spending longer portions of later life single, according to Neuroscience News.
Population surveys and clinical practice reflect a broader pattern. More than half of Americans ages 65 to 74 report that they are sexually active. More than a quarter of those 75 to 85 say the same. Among those who are active, about half report at least one bothersome issue such as low desire, vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction, or difficulty reaching orgasm, according to The New York Times.
Clinicians point to an expanding toolkit. Options include medications, vacuum devices for erectile difficulties, and prescription hormones to reduce vaginal pain and dryness. They also cite lifestyle measures like stress management, sleep, and exercise. Physicians who specialize in sexual medicine emphasize a whole-person approach. They encourage older adults to raise concerns with their care teams because, as one senior clinician framed it to patients, it is rarely too late to address sexual problems, according to The New York Times.
Intimacy in later life
For many, intimacy in later life is actively cultivated. Joan Price, an 82-year-old sex educator, and her partner, Mac Marshall, also 82, plan weekly “sex dates,” experiment with lubricants and toys, and coordinate their routines with a sense of play, according to The New York Times. Experts described the notion that older adults are asexual as a form of ageism. They urged couples to define satisfying sex more broadly than frequency counts or orgasm. Therapists highlighted flexibility, including strategies for “sex without an erection,” and noted that couples who adapt to changes in bodies and abilities often maintain rewarding erotic lives, according to The New York Times.
Some people reduce the frequency of intercourse due to health changes or the loss of a partner. Clinicians noted that intimacy can remain fulfilling when partners communicate openly, adjust techniques, and take advantage of available treatments, according to The New York Times.
Cultural attitudes are also shifting. Joan Price’s 2011 book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex, was widely described as quietly revolutionary. It gathered real-life stories from people over 50 alongside guidance from therapists and physicians. It argued that sex does not end with aging but evolves. It addressed topics from erectile dysfunction to dating later in life, according to Starts at 60.